


Seat 17

by jjongorable



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, after that idk what happens, they're cute little children at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 19:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12711723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjongorable/pseuds/jjongorable
Summary: Nobody knows why Kyungsoo always sits in seat 17. But maybe it has something to do with the boy who sits beside him.





	1. Friends?

Kyungsoo is not excited. He refuses to smile for his mother today. He refuses to eat his meal before he goes out to catch the bus that will take him to the school he doesn't care for. At 9 years old Kyungsoo understands the education system perfectly, and he wants no part in it.

"Well, Kyungsoo if you're not going to eat, then we can just walk to the bus stop." Kyungsoo just stares at his mother. Could it not have been more obvious thirty minutes ago that he wasn't going to eat? Especially when he said explicitly that he would not eat?

 As they're walking Kyungsoo can see his mother reaching out to grab the free hand he has swinging at his side. But Kyungsoo doesn't want to hold his mother's hand, so he relocates it so that he is holding the strap of his backpack instead. He hears his mother sigh and sees the look of sadness and disappointment that crosses her features for just a moment, but what's done is done. Kyungsoo really doesn't care.

Kyungsoo boards the school bus that has about 30 other kids on it. Not every seat has an occupant, but he feels as if a thousand eyes are on him, watching with hawk-like intensity as he walks to an empty seat. The attention doesn't make him uncomfortable, only just a bit more aware of himself.

His height.

The color of his hair.

The type of sweater his mother decided he should wear.

It all floods his mind with reminders that he is the same as everyone else. That the school he's enrolled in requires uniforms. And that nearly every South Korean has dark hair. His height isn't something he can change in a day, so it doesn't bother him as much as it seems to confuse the person sitting across from him. Her eyes are wide and she keeps looking him up and down, as if sizing him up, before finally turning to speak to the boy sitting in the seat directly in front of her. Kyungsoo catches snippets of the conversation. Not because he is eavesdropping, but because neither are being as quiet as they would like to be.

"He doesn't know about the seat?" Kyungsoo sees the girl take a quick glance at the number above their heads. And so he mocks her movement, only to see the number 17.  Nothing special.

"I think he's too young."

"Should we tell him?"

"Does it matter? Don't tell me you believe that horrible excuse for a scary story."  The boy seems to be used to the girl's dramatics. He's already turned back around in his seat. Almost as uncaring as Kyungsoo.

"It's true though. My cousin was there."

"Yeah, okay. And I'm the president of South Korea."

Kyungsoo stops listening because the humor of those in middle school does not interest him.

...

The first day of third grade is the same as the first day of second grade, and first grade, and kindergarten, and Kyungsoo is just about sick of all the autonomy. At 9 years old he is tired. And he constantly looks for something compelling that he could use his energy for. His teachers are all young, excited, and ignorant. Kyungsoo doesn't pay attention. He sits alone and he waits for the day to be over. He could learn this stuff in his sleep.

...

The bus ride home is more annoying than the ride to school. Kyungsoo makes sure to sit in seat 17. He notices all the stares and whispers and gaping mouths that watch him comfortably take his seat and rest his head against the window. He sees the outside scenery as a metaphor of time. Quickly speeding by until someone stops to notice it passing.

Sometime along the way Kyungsoo fell asleep. Only realizing once he woke up to drool on his face.

"You look pretty when you sleep"

Kyungsoo should be startled to find another boy sitting beside him. He thought everyone had a complex about this seat. But this boy doesn't seem to be too bothered about it. Kyungsoo should be the one to call the boy pretty, though. He has cute eyes, smaller than Kyungsoo's own, but not the smallest he's ever seen. Just the right size that could make stunning eye-crescents if he smiled. And he has the most squeezable nose. Kyungsoo wonders if he's been the victim of serial nose pinches.

But more than anything else Kyungsoo notices the boy's mouth. His lips form a small pout at the end of every word. Kyungsoo thinks that no adult would ever be able to resist a puppy face made by him in order to get what he wants. To sum it up, this boy's face scares Kyungsoo. The child could be the devil's spawn for all he knew.

"I'm not pretty. My mom calls me handsome."

"And I called you pretty. What's the difference?"

"I know my mom."

"My name is Jongin." Kyungsoo blinks because he didn’t ask the boy for his name.

_Oh. He’s a sly one_

"Just because you told me your name, doesn't mean that I know you."

Kyungsoo watches Jongin think for a moment. "Okay. Ask me a question."

"I don't ask questions. I usually already know the answers."

"So, you're a know-it-all."

"I guess." That makes Jongin smile. And Kyungsoo was spot on about his eyes. He finds himself staring at them. And then at Jongin's mouth. The corners curl down instead of up. His smile is a sad one but it transfixes Kyungsoo and he believes he could look at it all day.

"Well, you didn't notice that we're the only two left in the bus did you?" His smile turns into a small smirk.

Kyungsoo looks away from the boy for the first time since he's woken up and he's shocked to find out that he's right. But it doesn't matter because he was the last stop anyway. He was bound to be the last one on the bus.

"So, go ahead. Ask me a question."

"How old are you?"

"8, but that's too simple. Ask me another."

Kyungsoo looks out the window at Jongin's request. It's always easier to form his thoughts when he's out in nature. Hearing the quiet sounds of creatures too hidden to see. But nothing comes to mind. Not for a long time. And it's not until he sees the outline of his house in the distance that he gets another question.

"Where do you -" but as Kyungsoo turns back around, Jongin is gone. And he wonders why the boy didn't say goodbye when it was time for him to get off.

...

"How was school?"

Kyungsoo just shakes his head at his mother. He doesn't even feel the need to waste his voice on telling her about his uneventful day.

His room is the last one in the hall upstairs. He likes it. For a 9 year old, it's very clean. But that's mainly because Kyungsoo doesn't have a lot of unneeded objects, such as toys or games or even a television. Kyungsoo fills his room with books and paintings, which all have their respective places on shelves and wall space.

He has his own bathroom attached to his bedroom as well. If he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to leave his room too much. But if he confines himself for too long, then his mother will bring him a plate of food or snacks. Something to drink. She'll want a hug. Kyungsoo will give it to her. But she doesn't stay too long. She doesn't like Kyungsoo's room.

...

It's while Kyungsoo is immersed in a novel that he hears a faint tapping. As if someone was throwing rocks at his window. This usually happens on windy nights, since there's a tree right outside his room whose branches like to bang against his window. It's no big deal. Until he hears it for the third time and its beginning to interrupt his reading. When he opens the window he's confused. The wind isn't blowing and his dad has trimmed the tree branches. They no longer reach his window. Kyungsoo almost closes the window, but he feels something rush past his ear and crash into his room. It's a rock.

_Well if this isn't a scene straight out of a novel._

Kyungsoo looks down and has to squint until his eyes have adjusted enough to the night. And then he sees him. Or at least what could be the boy's outline.

"Jongin?"

"Yeah!" The small boy is jumping up and down on his lawn with his arms outstretched.  As if he could just fly up to Kyungsoo's window.

"Really?"

"So this is where you live?"

"Aren't your parents worried?"

"They've been worried for years!" Jongin has now started to climb the tree. But there's no point since the branches no longer reach to his window. Jongin could try jumping, but Kyungsoo deducts that that would be a terrible idea that could only end in him falling on his face and possibly dying.

"Hold on!"

Kyungsoo runs downstairs. His parents have long ago fallen asleep. They know he likes to stay up and read or paint. Even if he has school in the early morning.

He opens his front door to see Jongin standing on his doorstep. Right underneath the porch light. The glow gives him an eerie look, with half his face still cloaked in darkness. Kyungsoo would like to paint him like this.

"Come in."

"You know, most people don't talk to me, or let me inside their homes in the middle of the night."

"Do you often go to people's homes at night and throw rocks at their windows like they're your lover?"

"You don't talk like a kid."

"I don't think like one either."

"Is that why you let me in? Because you're like an adult?"

"I didn't like seeing you out in the dark.” They've made their way to Kyungsoo's room by this point and Kyungsoo sits on his bed, offering for Jongin to sit beside him. But Jongin just chooses to stand. “Why are you here anyway?"

"You never got to ask me that other question." Jongin has that smirk on his face again. Like he knows Kyungsoo wants to make a comment about how crazy it is to go to someone house in the middle of the night just to answer a question he was never asked. So Kyungsoo doesn't say what he knows Jongin has already figured out.

"Okay. Why didn't you say goodbye when you got off the bus?"

"It's not really something I'm used to. Like I said, people don't usually talk to me."

"Oh." They allow themselves to appreciate the silence. Kyungsoo watches Jongin look around his room with a sort of enchantment.

"You walked here didn’t you? How did you know where I live?  You got off the bus before me." Kyungsoo couldn't _not_ address the elephant in the room.

"Hey! That's two questions."

"So?" Jongin bows his head in defeat. But Kyungsoo knows he's just putting on a show.

_He's quite a dramatic one._

"Well, I just followed the bus."

"So you didn't go home?"

"I could go right now. If you wanted. Me. To go."

Jongin sounds reluctant, but Kyungsoo is out of his mind with shock. Doesn't this boy care about his parents possibly worrying themselves to death over him?

"Yes! Go home now! I'm pretty sure your parents are probably out looking for you. It's been hours."

For some reason, though, now that Jongin is here Kyungsoo actually doesn't want him to leave. But he needs to go. At 8 years old, a boy should be safe in his home at this time of night, having been tucked into bed by his parents who wish him a goodnight.

Kyungsoo is practically pushing the boy out his room and down the stairs.  He stops when he gets to the door though. He lets his hands linger on Jongin’s back for a couple more seconds than was necessary.

_You’re the first person to visit me. You saw my room and didn’t laugh. I don’t want you to go._

Jongin turns around to give Kyungsoo one of his fascinating smiles before opening the door. "Goodbye!"

Kyungsoo doesn't have the chance to reply before Jongin walks out and closes the door behind himself.

...

For the next two weeks Kyungsoo waits for Jongin to show up at his seat again. It's what he looks forward to every weekday. His eyes stay glued to the bus's entrance, waiting for the boy, but Jongin doesn't show. For two weeks as Kyungsoo makes sure he stays awake, _Jongin doesn't show_. And as disappointed as he is, Kyungsoo doesn't look for him at school. Jongin would be in a grade lower than him and Kyungsoo tries to keep far away from the overwhelming insolence of children. Even though he technically still is one.

...

"You haven't been to school in two weeks?"                                     

Kyungsoo gave up on waiting for Jongin. The bus ride is too long for Kyungsoo to stay awake the whole time. He doesn't know how he's done it for the last fourteen days.

At 9, Kyungsoo is sleep deprived. But even so, he finally wakes up to the face he's been searching for.

"You could say that." Jongin has his knees pulled up underneath his body. This way he towers over Kyungsoo who is still slouched against his seat. Jongin looks way too energized as he bounces with the bus. They're again the only two people left and Kyungsoo likes that he can just focus on the boy in front of him without anyone being able to bear witness to his unabashed staring.

“Were you waiting for me to show up?” Jongin looks at Kyungsoo curiously, like he really wants to know the answer and not just to tease the other. Kyungsoo doesn’t feel the need to lie, though he is a bit wary of how his answer will make him seem. He doesn’t want Jongin to think of him as some lonely child desperate for emotional contact with another human being. Because he could really care less about connecting with someone else, especially if they don’t have the capacity to understand why he doesn’t feel lonely – even though he lacks the companions others like to call friends – or if they can’t comprehend how a 9 year old gets more satisfaction from falling in love with a painting than if his own parents told him how much they loved him.

“Yes.”

Jongin’s face brightens tenfold. It’s as if the sun decided to take rest beneath his skin and give him the most ethereal glow. Kyungsoo thinks Jongin could pass as an angel just as easy as he could do his math homework.

“Then I’ll make sure to come more often. I just had to make sure.” Jongin has finally sat down in the seat, his actual bottom touching the material, and he turns his body to face Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo didn’t realize he was afraid the boy would fall over into the aisle until the possibility was no more and his breath came a bit easier.

Kyungsoo likes that Jongin is sitting beside him now and that he doesn’t have to crane his neck to look up at the boy. It’s easier to talk this way. Jongin is still taller than him, only by a couple centimeters. Jongin looks like one of the kids who will sprout poles for legs when he finally reaches puberty.

“Why do you do things like that?”

“Huh?”

“Stuff that could hurt you. Like when you came to my house and were gonna jump from the tree?”

Jongin stills for a moment. “I’m not scared of getting hurt.” He sounds a bit unsure and Kyungsoo hopes he isn’t making him feel uncomfortable.

“I guess that’s a good thing.” _Not really, it isn’t. Are you not afraid of death?_

“Do a lot of things scare you?”

_Yes._ “Not really. Spiders I think.” Kyungsoo can only take guesses at what he thinks he’s afraid of, but really his mind keeps going back to Jongin. Jongin climbing the tree and Jongin sitting too freely. “There was this one time when I almost drowned, so I don’t go swimming too often. My mom always tries to get us to go to the lake. “

Jongin takes Kyungsoo’s hand so suddenly that Kyungsoo nearly jumps out of his own skin.

“Take me with you. Next time! I could teach you how to swim!”

Kyungsoo nods, confused that Jongin would want to come with him. And while he’s on the subject of being confused, he realizes that pretty much everything about Jongin has confused him or left him with an abundance of questions.

However, Kyungsoo is pretty sure he can feel his face heating up as Jongin beams at him, hand still in his tight grip. Jongin doesn’t let go, even as he turns away from Kyungsoo and rests his head against the seat. Kyungsoo watches Jongin fall asleep in seconds and wonders how much energy he must use throughout the day. Yet another question.

Kyungsoo’s stop is coming up soon and he knows Jongin gets off before him. He wants to see where the boy lives. But watching the other sleep has only made him want to close his own eyes and drift off. It seems like it’s only been a second before he’s being woken up by a particularly rough jolt of the bus. But he knows it must’ve been longer because he can see his home coming into view as he looks out the window. And Jongin is gone.

Kyungsoo can still feel where Jongin’s hand wrapped around his own and a bitterness overtakes him because he already misses the touch.

And Jongin just left. Again.

_I thought we went over this Jongin. Please say goodbye._

…

“Did you have a good day?”

Kyungsoo can hear the mock concern. It’s not that his mother could care less, it’s just that now she only asks out of hope of receiving a response. Kyungsoo usually refrains from wasting his breath. A simple nod will do and he doesn’t care if she looks his way to even see the movement. She doesn’t.

Homework is a bore, but Kyungsoo finishes anyway. His papers have an added charm that comes in the form of a doodle; a teddy bear with eyes that are just the right size and lips that are forever in a pout. He names the doodle Nini.

…

Dinner is uncomfortable, like it is every night but it’s a constant that Kyungsoo has gotten used to. His parents don’t necessarily like the way he eats his food in silence. Or how he completely ignores them when they ask questions about his day, his feelings, or his thoughts. But at 9, Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind eating alone.

Both parents are concerned about the reclusiveness of their son, the mother a little more so. She watches him closer than would be deemed healthy or not a breach of privacy. She’s memorized his mannerisms. So it comes as a shock when she sees her son smiling down at his plate when his face is usually just an expression of nonchalance.

“Kyungsoo.” She tests it first. His name comes out low and hesitant on her lips, having never been spoken at the dinner table since Kyungsoo learned how to feed himself. But all is well since Kyungsoo is too occupied with remembering whatever it is that’s making him smile, and even laugh a little, to notice his own mother’s reluctance to speak to him.

“Kyungsoo.” It’s stronger this time, louder, and she only just manages to fix her face into a pleasant expression before Kyungsoo looks up, surprised at the interruption.

“Yes?”

“You were smiling.”

The look they exchange stops just short of being awkward. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know if he _should_ respond. Kyungsoo is quite aware that he was smiling, if the tension in his cheeks were anything to go by. Is the fact that he was smiling significant? Yes. But was there a need to point it out? Not so much. There’s a reason why he’s always quiet during times of forced conversation. He tries to limit the amount of word vomit expected of him.

“What were you thinking about?”

Kyungsoo would’ve answered but he honestly can’t remember, because now he’s thinking about why his mother is suddenly trying to hold a conversation. But Kyungsoo tries his best to recall what was on his mind.

_“You were smiling.”_

_“Kyungsoo”_

_This rice is overcooked_

_Fork to plate to mouth_

_Can she make anything other than rice?_

_Sit down_

_“Dinner!”_

Kyungsoo finds that retracing his thoughts doesn’t work because it’s as if his subconscious is trying to hide the real reason he smiled so uncharacteristically.

“I can’t remember.”

“Did anything happen today?” Kyungsoo could roll his eyes at his mother’s persistence, but he thinks back on today’s events so that he can please her.

_Bus ride to school – Uneventful_

_First Hour – Science – Uneventful_

_Second Hour – Korean Language and Grammar – Uneventful_

_Third Hour – Lunch – Disgusting_

_Fourth Hour – History – Actually learned something new_

Everything after that becomes a blur, since it’s around that time that he stops caring about what goes on around him until it’s time to go home.

_The bus ride home – Jongin_

“Jongin.”

“Who’s Jongin?”

_Who’s Jongin?_ Kyungsoo would consider him a friend. He did visit his house in the middle of the night. But Kyungsoo doesn’t make friends. So, _who is Jongin?_

“Um, he rides my bus.”

“He lives in our neighborhood?”

_Does he? I’ve never seen him get off the bus or on for that matter._ Kyungsoo doesn’t necessarily know where he lives. But it’s a close enough walk for an eight year old.

“Yes.” Because that’s a valid conclusion. He wouldn’t ride the bus if he didn’t live in the same – if not a neighboring – area.

“I’ve never heard of a Jongin. I’ll ask the girls at work to find out who his mom is.” Kyungsoo looks down and misses how his mother glances at his father. It’s a small look, though, and his father doesn’t understand the message she’s trying to convey.

“But I’m glad you’ve made a friend.”

“I never said he was a friend.”

_I don’t make friends._

_…_


	2. > Friends

Kyungsoo was in his living room with a cup of tea and a book. Waiting. The clock reads 1:32 a.m.

Jongin has never been this late.

Just as Kyungsoo thinks this, he hears a knock at the door. Which is unusual because Jongin knows that Kyungsoo leaves the door unlocked for him. So, he waits for the boy to walk in. But all he hears is another knock.

Kyungsoo gets up hesitantly and starts towards the door. If this really is Jongin Kyungsoo wants to know what game he’s playing. And if he’ll be up for his amusement tonight.

Kyungsoo isn’t stupid. He looks out the peephole before he opens the door. And his confusion deepens when he sees Jongin in a hoodie, face hidden and shoulders slumped. Jongin never comes over in a bad mood. This is a first and Kyungsoo isn’t sure what to do. But he lets the boy slowly walk past him into the living room and closes the door.

He watches Jongin grab his mug and sniff it. He scowls at the smell but sips at it anyway with a pout on his lips.

_Such a baby_

Kyungsoo goes over and sits next to Jongin. He curls his feet underneath him and has set his mind on just waiting until Jongin decided to talk about whatever has him so uncharacteristically down. But after sitting in silence for a little over 2 minutes Kyungsoo grows restless with a quiet Jongin. And the faces he keeps making at the tea are too amusing.

“I have hot chocolate too you know.” Jongin puts down the mug then.

“I’m not really thirsty.” Jongin starts to tap his legs restlessly, no doubt trying to release the energy he’s suppressing in his stiff posture.

“You’re sad.” Jongin flinches at Kyungsoo’s signature bluntness. “Why?”

“I’m not –“

“Why?” Kyungsoo interrupts Jongin’s lie.

‘Let me finish! I’m not sad. It’s just that my mom said that I should try to be quieter.”

“Quieter?” _But you’re too boring when you’re quiet._

“So, I tried to act like you. Because you’re quiet and like an adult. If I act like you I’ll stop getting in trouble.”

“Oh.”

“But your tea is disgusting.” Jongin sticks out his tongue and scrunches his face. “How do adults drink that?”

“What are you talking about? My tea is the best!”

“It was worse than broccoli!” Jongin laughs at the scandalized face Kyungsoo makes at his hurtful remark.

Kyungsoo is glad for the boy’s sudden change back into cheerful, mischievous Jongin. He doesn’t know what to do in situations like this and it was beginning to get uncomfortable between them.

“Well, that’s cause you’re still a little kid. You’re not even nine years old yet.” Kyungsoo lightly punches Jongin’s arm to get him to stop laughing. But soon he’s laughing too because Jongin’s laugh really is contagious. And he’s glad the boy isn’t trying to be quiet anymore.

Jongin reaches out to grab his hand, something he always seems to do when they’re both lost in laughter. Kyungsoo hasn’t gotten used to the act, but he never pulls away. Instead, he grabs Jongin’s hand tighter and waits till they both calm down.

_Friends hold hands, right?_

_We’re friends, right?_

...

Kyungsoo is almost out of breath when he reaches the bus. He has plenty of time, it’s just that he wants to see Jongin as soon as possible because he has good news. Really good news.

But the empty seat Kyungsoo sees as he stands on the bus’s steps reminds him that Jongin is never on the bus before him, no matter how late he is. Not even on the days when he’s lost track of time sitting in the library, sometimes not even reading anything. Just lost in mindless thought before the librarian comes and taps him on the shoulder to tell him that school is over.

“Looking for me?”

Kyungsoo is so surprised by the sudden appearance that he stumbles forward, almost falling into the lap of the driver who gives him a look of indifference. Kyungsoo quickly apologizes and turns to glare at the laughing _child_ behind him.

“No, I wasn’t looking for you.” He notices how Jongin doesn’t look convinced that he’s telling the truth; probably because he isn’t. Kyungsoo never developed the skills needed to be a decent liar. “I was just making sure that my seat wasn’t taken.”

“Our seat is never taken.”

_Our seat_

Jongin pushes Kyungsoo further into the aisle as a way to tell him it was time to sit down since the bus driver was starting to get impatient. They were the last ones on.

“So why were you looking for me? You knew I would be on anyway. So impatient.”

“I said I wasn’t…whatever. I wanted to tell you something.”

Jongin’s smile fades a bit and Kyungsoo is quick to assure him that it isn’t bad news. In fact, it’s great news.

“We’re going to the lake.” Kyungsoo’s voice comes out higher than normal in his excitement.

“The one you hate?” Jongin tries to raise just one eyebrow, something he’d been working on for the last few days. It’s a fail and Kyungsoo tries not to laugh at his concentrated face.

“Yup, that one.”

“Well, don’t drown.” Jongin finally gives up and pats Kyungsoo on the leg as encouragement, still confused as to why Kyungsoo would be smiling while telling him this.

“I won’t,” Kyungsoo smiles even wider,” because you’re going to teach me how to swim!”

“What?” Kyungsoo doesn’t notice how Jongin stopped at his words.

“You’re coming too. I asked my mom.” But he notices when Jongin clasps his hands together and drops his head.

“Uh, Kyungsoo I can’t go.”

“I haven’t even said when.” Kyungsoo tries to not to sound like he’s hurt. He at least thought Jongin would be excited for the surprise.

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t go.” Jongin is looking straight ahead and has his bottom lip in his teeth.

_If you don’t want to go just tell me. It won’t hurt my feeling…we’re not even friends._

“But before… you were begging me to take you. Do you not want to go anymore?”

“Leave it alone okay?” Kyungsoo flinches at the finality in Jongin’s voice. He’s never sounded so serious before.

“Okay.”

They sit the rest of the ride in silence.  But Kyungsoo takes notice of how Jongin constantly tries to steal sideways glances at him. Or how he keeps opening and closing his mouth like he wishes to say something but never does.

Kyungsoo hates mysteries. He hates uncertainty.

_This is not okay._

...

 “Why are you here?”

“Why are you asking?” Jongin leans against the door frame with his arms crossed, mimicking Kyungsoo’s posture. They’re staring at each other. Kyungsoo’s glaring at Jongin, while Jongin just looks back trying not to smile.

“This is my home. I have a right.”

“You’ve never asked before.”

“I’m asking now.” Kyungsoo really doesn’t know why he’s so upset. But then he thinks back to those three nights when he fell asleep on the couch waiting for Jongin to show up. The second day was the worst as he waited for Jongin to provide an explanation on the bus, but he was a no-show. On the third day Kyungsoo decided to just get used to being alone again. But something told him he was being irrational about everything. Jongin probably had a good reason for not showing up.

“Because I come here every night, Kyungsoo.” Jongin actually has the nerve to chuckle.

_That jerk!_

“You haven’t been here in three days.”

“Are you going to stay mad at me? Or will you let me tell you something that will make you happy?”

“I should just leave you outside.” Kyungsoo is really

“You would never! Plus, I would get sick and then I wouldn’t be able to go to the lake with you.”

“You wouldn’t get sick anyway. Plus…Wait what?”

“I came to tell you that I can go to the lake with you.”

Jongin uses Kyungsoo’s moment of shock to make his way inside, taking up residence in his favorite couch chair. Kyungsoo’s eyes follow him the entire way, mouth still agape from trying to process what Jongin just told him. He also finds himself unaware of what to do with this sudden desire to run and tackle Jongin where he’s sitting.

“S-so, you’re really going?” Kyungsoo doesn’t want to smile yet. This could still be one of Jongin’s stupid jokes.

“Yeah, Soo, I am. I asked my mom and every –” Kyungsoo finally gives in to Jongin’s words and practically jumps on Jongin, interrupting the other during his explanation. He latches his arms around Jongin’s neck and squeezes tight because this is such good news. He had given up the possibility of ever having fun on yet another annual visit to the lake with his overbearing mother and his father’s indifference. Jongin is going to be the perfect addition this year. And Kyungsoo is terribly excited.

“Thank you so much Jongin! We’re gonna have so much fun!” Jongin ruffles Kyungsoo’s hair as he still buries his head in his neck. He likes this Kyungsoo, one that’s happy and giggly and young. The Kyungsoo who acts like a nine-year-old.

“Now you sound like a kid.” Jongin teases Kyungsoo as he finally lets go, but not without consequences as Kyungsoo’s sends a light punch his way.

“I’m just excited. Leave me alone.” Kyungsoo gets up and starts walking towards the stairs. He sends a light smirk Jongin’s way. “Coming up? Or are you just going to sit there the entire night?”

“Oh, I’m fine right here.” Jongin shoots back, not going to let Kyungsoo get the upper hand.

“Suit yourself then. You know the way out. I’m going to sleep.” Kyungsoo continues walking up the stairs, already halfway up before he hears Jongin speak up again.

“Kyungsoo wait!” He pauses to let the younger catch up.

_Of course I’ll wait._

_Friends wait for each other, right?_

…

At thirteen Kyungsoo is grateful he is no longer required to eat lunch in the cafeteria with everyone else. He opts for a more solitude residence in the art room, since the art teacher is the only other person he can get to talk to him freely.

Kyungsoo isn't stupid. Never was, and he never will be. He sees how the other students in his class don't ever talk to him unless it's required for an assignment. He notices how everyone else can't seem to put enough space between him and themselves as they walk in the hallways. Kyungsoo knows he's an outsider. He just can't bring himself to really care. Though he sometimes wishes he knew why.

At age thirteen Kyungsoo is mostly alone and he prefers it that way.

Middle school is as much of a drag as any year before it. Except Kyungsoo gets to challenge himself a lot more. Especially with his art. His teacher encourages his many realistic portraits of another young male. Teacher Lee doesn't ask any questions. He just allows Kyungsoo to paint his muse as many different times and in as many different ways as he wants. He thinks Kyungsoo is very talented.

...

Kyungsoo has lost count of how many times he's drawn, painted, sketched Jongin. He would have the sense to be at least a little shameful at his blatant fascination, but every time he shows Jongin a new piece he's working on the younger always gets excited. Their seat becoming a museum for Kyungsoo to show off his talent.

"You signed this one ‘Soo’."

"Yeah."

"Ha! So you do like the nickname."

"Yeah, and so what?"

"Nothing. I just knew is all. And you're not as hard to figure out as you think you are."

"Says the boy who has known me for how long now? Four years?"

"Hey, don't knock my intuition for mere knowledge. I like to think my gut is something to rely on you know?"

"Yes Jongin I know. Now do you want to keep this one or am I adding it to my collection?"

"I never feel right taking them Kyungsoo. You always work so hard."

"One of these days I'm gonna force you to take one. My parents probably worry about me. Seeing all these portraits of you on my walls."

"As they should! Soo, I even worry about you. Why do you waste your talent on just drawing me?"

"Because I think you're worth drawing."

"One day I'll get you to admit you love me."

"I admit it every day and you just don't do anything about it."

"We're too young to know what love is Soo. Don't let that stupid legend get to your head."

"And you always bring up the stupid story. I don't believe in it Nini. But I think you do. It's why you think what I feel isn't real."

"I never said I don't think...you know what? Can we not have this conversation?"

"You're about to get off anyway. Will you come by later?"

"Always."

...

"When will you learn to use the front door again?'

"When climbing through your window becomes less fun."

"I'm tired of my dad asking why the tree branches keep breaking."

Jongin takes off his shoes and situates himself on Kyungsoo's bed. He watches Kyungsoo carefully take the new painting from his dresser and make his way to the wall.

 _His dedication to me._ Jongin thinks. Not bitterly, just a bit sad.

He watches Kyungsoo muse over where he should hang the new picture. There's hardly any room left on the wall. If he keeps this up, Kyungsoo will soon have to move to the last wall left in the room that's untouched by Jongin's face.

Jongin gets up to stand beside Kyungsoo. When Kyungsoo notices he gives Jongin a small smile and turns back to the wall.

"I think it should go there." Jongin points to an opening between a full-body oil-on-canvas and a minimalistic water coloring.

"Kyungsoo hums his approval and tapes the portrait where Jongin suggested.

"It looks nice."

Jongin just nods and heads back to the bed. He's already finished his homework before coming over and he knows Kyungsoo probably finished his before he even left school, so he just wonders what they'll spend tonight doing. Most likely they'll just watch a movie like they do frequently. Kyungsoo will snuggle much too close and Jongin will let him because he doesn’t have the heart to push him away.

…

“I’m tired of this Kyungsoo.”

“Am I supposed to know what ‘this’ is?”

“It’s you.” Kyungsoo sighs at Baekhyun as they walk down that hallway to their next class.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at Baekhyun. The last time he checked, he was not a mind reader. “Just…stop sitting in the seat.” Baekhyun has resorted to whispering for some reason and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at the boy’s childishness.

“It’s been six years, Baek, and nothing has happened yet.”

“Exactly! Nothing has happened _yet_.”

“Stop being ridiculous. We’ve had this conversation more than I care for.”

“Well, at least you can’t say I’ve never warned you. _Both of you._ ”

“We can take care of ourselves.” Kyungsoo notices the look of disbelief Baekhyun tries to hide as he looks away.

_He’s so dramatic._

 “Hey guys.”

Kyungsoo watches as Baekhyun jumps at the sudden voice, even getting a little red in his cheeks.

“Hey Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo gives fidgeting Baekhyun a knowing look before pushing him more in Chanyeol’s space. “I’m headed to the library” He says before walking off, winking at Chanyeol and receiving a smile in return.

…

High school brought Kyungsoo a new start, and with it new friends. Kyungsoo met Baekhyun and Chanyeol his first day. It was the first day of any grade that offered Kyungsoo the deviation he craved so much. It was the first time anyone had ever approached him, other than Jongin, with a smile and a kind words. When Baekhyun and Kyungsoo figured out they’d be having the exact same classes they became inseparable, much to Chanyeol’s chagrin since he could only meet the two during breaks or lunch time. But after school was another thing entirely. With Jongin in tow, sleepovers and movie nights and late night karaoke became standard for the quartet. Kyungsoo’s parents didn’t know what to think the first night Kyungsoo announced that friends would be coming over. _Friends,_ with an ‘s. Plural. More than one. More than Jongin.

_“Mom, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s not like I ever actively searched for friends anyway. These two just kind of bumped into me. Literally. Chanyeol is so clumsy.”_

_“I’m just happy for you is all.”_

_“You don’t have to be.”_

_“Is Jongin coming over too?”_

_“Of course mom. Why wouldn’t he?”_

_“Oh.”_

_“What does that mean?”_

_“I just thought –”_

_“I’m not going to stop being friends with him just because of Chanyeol and Baekhyun. In fact, they like him too.”_

_“It’s not that, honey. It’s just –”_

_“I don’t want to talk about this now.” At what Kyungsoo decided was perfect timing, they hear a knock on the door. “They’re here. We’ll be upstairs.”_

…

Kyungsoo thinks he will never tire of watching Jongin play the piano. The way the boy’s fingers moved, so effortlessly across the keys, it mesmerizes Kyungsoo to a point where he feels like he’s a part of the melody Jongin creates. Sometimes he is, or that’s what Jongin says on random days when they spend all afternoon in the music room because Jongin had a new piece he was working on and couldn’t wait to let Kyungsoo listen. And once he’s finished, Kyungsoo cherishes the words that come out of Jongin’s mouth as they stare at each other.

_“This was for you.”_

Kyungsoo only falls more in love.

And he can only wish for the day that Jongin would feel the same.

…

Jongin doesn’t know what he’s doing most days. One day he knows he’s going to wake up and regret everything. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Kyungsoo. Yet, that’s exactly what he does every single day. Every day that he hugs Kyungsoo for a second too long, every day that he lets the other kiss his cheek, every single night that he spends lying in Kyungsoo’s bed wrapped in his arms.

Every day that Jongin doesn’t say something, he makes everything worse.

But he’s only fifteen. He’s still too young to know anything about love.

Kyungsoo is just a friend. His best friend. That’s it and nothing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is supposed to be a three-shot. We'll see if i ever get around to working out the kinks in this story in order to finish it.


End file.
